In my case, the first failure humbled me. It also instilled a sense of competition in me.
After the prelims result of my first attempt came, more than the sense of disappointment I felt the need to pass this exam. Sure I was disappointed. However, suddenly I was aware of the mistakes that I committed in my first attempt. I knew that they were mistakes even when I was preparing. However, failure has this quality of magnifying your mistakes and also providing you with a better vision.
I gave the second attempt rectifying all the mistakes that I committed during my first attempt. Because of better preparedeness I was able to pass the prelims without any problem.
However, since I studied really hard for the prelims, I felt that I deserved a break and hence took a one month long vacation. Even then, I had studied really hard except for that one month. When the results came I was selected for the interview. However when the final result came, I was a few marks short of the final cut off. The second failure hit me harder than the first time because I had put in more effort except for the momentary lapse. I cried on my girlfriend’s (now wife) shoulders in the open at the Pheonix mall in Mumbai. I did not care who was looking. I was crying not because I failed in the exam. I was crying because it dawned upon me at that moment how big a mistake I had committed during my preparation. This is an exam that thousands of people toil for day and night. You shouldn’t have the slightest notion that you are something special that you can get through with lesser effort than the others.
In my third attempt I was much more composed and focussed and I made sure that I did not repeat any of the mistakes that I committed in my first attempt. The result is for all to see. I made it into the final list of the UPSC and now am happily undergoing training with the Indian Audit and Accounts Service.